Is it rude to put one person on hold while you take the call of another person?  I think so and I try never to do it when I’m on a personal call.  In fact, I think it’s great that technology makes it so easy to know that someone else is trying to reach you and equally great that it’s easy to get right back to the caller you missed.

I’ve always been certain about this when it comes to personal calls, but what about business?  And in particular, what about for real estate professionals—do the same rules apply?  In real estate, your phone is your connection to your clients and to the world.  When you’re busy and doing your job well, you can spend a great deal of time on the phone.

Is it rude, for example, to put Client #1 on hold to talk to Client #2 about a completely different matter?  Is it rude to put Party #1 on hold while you answer a call from Party #2, who’s involved in the same transaction and may have some information to share that will change what you need to say to Party #1? Or is call waiting just rude, period?

What do you think?

I just read the story about the flight attendant who lost his cool after an incident with an unruly passenger.

Civility seems to be a thing of the past, so it’s more important than ever to know how to respond to difficult people in touchy situations.  In fact, success as a real estate professional requires the ability to work with all kinds of people in all kinds of situations.

Here are eight suggestions for handling difficult people in difficult situations.

1. Empathize.  Learn to shift your perspective so you can see the situation from the other person’s point of view.
2. Listen.  Sometimes people who are upset only want someone to hear them out.
3. Maintain Respect.  Remember, there’s a real person behind all that bad behavior.  Try to maintain your respect for the person even if you can’t accept their outlandish actions.
4. Take Time Out. It works for your children and can work for you.  Take a moment to de-stress before responding to the situation.
5. Keep Your Perspective.  When you’re in a tough spot, remember that years from now, you’ll probably laugh about this incident.  So relax and take it in stride now.
6. Use Humor. Why wait years to laugh.  There’s humor in almost any situation if you look at it in the right way.
7. Surprise Them.  You probably shouldn’t laugh in the face of someone who’s angry—but on the other hand, sometimes saying something humorous or totally unexpected can leave loudmouthed bullies speechless and change the dynamic of the situation.
8. Stay in Control.  Whatever you do, always maintain your composure.  In a touch situation, someone has to stay level-headed and unemotional.  Make sure that someone is you.

What else would you add?

Millions of people are on Facebook and Twitter is all the rage, yet there are still times when it makes good sense to pick up the phone and call someone.  Here are eight really good reasons to call someone rather than contact them electronically.

1. They Called You. I consider it a matter of etiquette.  When a friend or client contacts you, its best to respond using the medium they used.  If they e-mailed you, it’s OK to e-mail back.  But if they phoned you, use the phone to respond to their call.
2. You Don’t Know Them; They Don’t Know You. Just like employers should never hire employees based on a résumé alone, you should never attempt to work with a new client you’ve never spoken with.  It’s OK for clients to choose you based on your electronic profile. It’s even OK to use e-mail or other electronic means for initial introductions. But at some point—sooner rather than later—you need to actually talk with your client if you’re serious about building a relationship and gaining their respect.  The phone is good, but in this case a face-to-face meeting is even better.
3. Emotions are Running High. Written communication is never the proper medium when you or someone you’re communicating with is angry or upset.  The written word doesn’t allow for nuances of meaning the way the spoken word does and can lead to greater misunderstanding or more injured feelings.
4. Time is of the Essence. If someone needs to act quickly or get time-sensitive information, it might be better to call.  While many people read and respond to e-mail throughout the day, there are still people on the check-your-messages-once-a-day plan. When you have information someone like that absolutely must receive, give them a ring.
5. Understanding is Essential. Sometimes the deal is complicated and requires the parties to talk things out.  In cases like this, the telephone may be a better medium for getting and giving feedback and for ensuring that everyone is on the same page.  Confirm the details of the conversation by following up with a written message.
6. One Hundred Forty Characters Just Won’t Cut It! E-mail doesn’t limit the number of characters you use, but occasionally the message is too long and complicated to type out—especially if you’re using the phone’s tiny keyboard.  Sometimes it’s easier to explain the situation than to try to put it all in writing.
7. You Haven’t Talked in Awhile. Social networking is great, but now and then a phone conversation really warms up a relationship.  Make it a point to telephone friends and former clients from time to time.  People will appreciate your taking the time.
8. Everyone Isn’t on the Internet. When you’re tech savvy, it’s easy to forget that some people aren’t.  There are people who only have e-mail at work.  There are even people who don’t use the Internet at all. For these people, the telephone is still the preferred communication tool.  Whenever you meet new prospects, always ask how they prefer to be contacted.  Honor the wishes of those who prefer the phone, by always giving them a call.

1. Don’t Shout.  Using ALL CAPS in your e-mail correspondence is the electronic equivalent of shouting.  No one likes it when you do that.
2. Stick to the Topic. Only discuss one topic in your message; write only about the topic contained in the title of the message. Observing this rule makes it easy for others to find the right information if they must go back and reference your message.  If you need to discuss an additional topic, send a separate message and give it an appropriate title.
3. Use “cc” Sparingly.  Don’t send cc’s to everyone you can think of.  Most of the time the people being copied on the message don’t want or need to see it. Don’t even cc your client on every correspondence unless they’ve specifically asked you to do that.
4. Be Careful When Using “Reply to All”.  Does everybody need to see your reply, or is it really a private message for the sender?  Just like the rule for using cc, only send messages to the people who really need to read them.
5. Don’t Send Junk E-Mail.  Those jokes, chain letters, and urban myths others send you don’t need to go any farther.  And you certainly shouldn’t pass them on as your way of staying in touch with people in your sphere of influence.  If you’re going to send an e-mail message as a stay-in-touch piece, make sure it contains information that’s really useful.
6. Keep Recipients’ Addresses Private. If you must send the same message to a long list of people, help protect the recipients from spammers by hiding their e-mail addresses.  To do this, address the message to yourself and blind-copy all of the recipients.  That is, send them the message as a “bcc”.  That way, no recipient will be able to see the e-mail addresses of any other recipient.
7. Select A Professional E-Mail Address.  Some brokerages provide you with an e-mail address.  If yours doesn’t, make sure the one you’re using looks professional.  An e-mail address like “pothead” or “cutebutt” really does send the wrong signal.
8. Don’t Send Big Attachments.  Learn to optimize the photos you send so they don’t take forever to load and don’t clog the recipient’s inbox.

What would you think if you were meeting with a client and she abruptly pulled out a book and started reading in the middle of your listing presentation?

That would seem bizarre if not outright rude, yet many agents do something similar when they take phone calls during a client meeting.  Some agents even answer e-mail while their clients sit waiting patiently.

Smartphones make it easy for us to stay in touch, but they also encourage us to behave in ways that many people find offensive.  Smartphones draw us in to what’s happening on the handheld device and encourage us to neglect what’s going on around us.  They give us a false sense of importance and make us forget that others are in the room. 

It’s rude to keep one client waiting while you answer a call or a message from another client.  Behavior like that communicates to the client you’re with that the other client is more important and that yourtime is more valuable.  Not only it is bad manners, but while you’re texting you could be missing something important your client is trying to tell you.  Most of us don’t multi-task nearly as well as we think we do.

Yes, it’s true that some clients will be reading their messages while you’re giving your presentation.  It’s also true that some clients will expect to be able to reach you at a moment’s notice and being slow to respond could cost you business.  That said, it’s still better to demonstrate good business etiquette regardless of what others around you are doing:

1. Put the phone on vibrate.  Silence the phone ringer when you’re meeting with a client.
2. Don’t even look at it.  Put the phone away so you’re not tempted to keep glancing at it to see what you’re missing.
3. Alert the client upfront.  If you’re expecting an important call during the meeting, tell the client in advance.  But only take one call like that;  don’t keep jumping up and taking more calls.
4. Leave the room.  If you must take a call during a meeting or a business luncheon, excuse yourself, step out of the room, and conduct your call out of earshot.  When you return, apologize for the interruption.
5. Pay attention to what’s going on around you.  When you’re hosting an open house, for example, focus on your guests.  Pick up your calls and messages afterward.
6. Put your clients first.   When you’re showing homes, give your clients your undivided attention.
7. Talk in a normal voice.  When you do take calls, modulate your voice.  People around you don’t want to hear your conversation.
8. Avoid all distractions.  Remember that texting is no different than talking live on the phone.  Both are distractions when you’re with a client and both are bad manners.